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 Cinema boasts many twist endings in its time, whether its Luke finding out he has some daddy issues, or perhaps its Bruce Willis finally discovering why the hell no one except some creepy little boy talks to him anymore in The Sixth Sense.  I was watching Fight club the other night (for the sixteenth billionth time) and I got to thinking, what if movies without shocker endings, for some reason or another had them. Let’s apply the theory shall we.

Titanic

“Jack the jewel thief”

 

To kick things off I thought I would give one of the most successful films ever a shocker plot twist. So all those people out there that have seen this film knows that the boat sinks, and all those people out there that have not seen Titanic, know the boat sinks, and being that Titanic is based on fact, it would be stretching things to throw in a twist where the boat re-emerges as some kind of ghost ship and seeks its unquenchable vengeance on that damned ice berg that left that gaping hole in its starboard side. So let’s shift to one of the films sub plots, that big old jewel hanging around Rose’s neck. What if Jack was revealed to be a jewel thief, his whole plan the whole time was to get at that necklace. Then we are hit with the big shocker, Jack actually did get the real Heart of the Ocean, and left Rose with some knock off piece of junk counterfeit, and it is revealed as jack sinks to the bottom of the ocean, the jewel slips out of his pocket and is lost forever….Take that old Rose, Jacks love for you wasn’t real and neither is your necklace.

 The Dark Knight Rises

“The Joker returns and a young boy’s fantasy”

 Now I have two twists that could have turned this movie on its head. The first is a rumor that was going around the internet for a while before its release; I thought it was a genius idea. John Blake (Joseph Gordon Levitt) does have an alter ego, and it isn’t Robin, but The Joker. Now here me out, because this may seem a little hard to swallow. The first reason it would be a great idea is because Levitt looks suspiciously similar to Heath Ledger, all he would need is some top grade surgery to cover those scars, some kind of decoy taking his place in Arkham Asylum, he robbed enough money in TDK to pay for surgery a thousand times over. Also when you take the first two letters and last two of his name it spells JOKE, if that isn’t a punch line worthy of the joker then I don’t know what is. The second missed twist could have been that the entire Batman trilogy was simply the fantasy young Bruce had when his family are murdered in front of him. Each villain he faces is an obstacle he must overcome in the future, for example Ras Al Ghul represents a corrupted parental figure, while the scarecrow and his toxin represents fear itself, I’ll let you decide what The Joker and Bane symbolise in young Bruce’s fantasy.

 Star Wars

“The prequels were a big terrible nightmare that never, ever happened”

 

The phantom menace and Attack of the clones have come to pass, we finally reach the revenge of the sith, the closing moments in fact, and then, Luke wakes up from a terrible nightmare, covered in a cold sweat. The prequels and all that they portrayed was a dark force induced dream that Luke had while training with Yoda, it was in fact the dark side trying to convince Luke not to fight his dad, trying to humanise Anakin so much that he is unable to face him. Yes, it would be a cop out, but, it would mean that Jar Jar never existed, is that such a bad thing?

Lee Smith

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13 thoughts on “Movie Twists That Never Were

  1. Joker might be the catalyst that Bruce faces for the good/evil debacle choice-making situation, as all vigilantes face. Bane might be the last hurdle for redemption. After sacrificing for Gotham and its people, will he stand the pain and perform the ultimate sacrifice? Kinda like that.

  2. Are you done writing your re-scripts? Personally I like your alternative Titanic endings – ghost ships are always good. As for Leo – can’t we just cut him out altogether?

  3. Alright, let’s not get ahead of ourselves – let’s not cut out Leo but I am all for dismissing the SW prequels and pretending Jar Jar never even happened! 🙂

  4. Love the “Pan’s Labyrinth” version of Batman.

    While watching Dark Knight Rises, as he was taking that bomb out of the car, I really wanted the movie to cut to the original Batman movie from the 60s. Specifically, the scene when Batman runs around with that huge cartoonish bomb, trying to get rid of it. That’s how the Dark Knight Rises should have ended, with the end of the bomb scene from the original movie.

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