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Well the end is nigh, we have until December to enjoy whatever little pleasures we possess, The Mayan calendar is up, all fingers point at the apocalypse, the four horsemen are gearing up and Saint Peter is prepping for the flood of souls waiting at those pearly gates. As this year will have seen not only the end of days, but the single greatest year for movies since film began. Major blockbusters such as Avengers Assemble, Prometheus and The Dark Knight Rises have smashed both box offices and critic ratings. Smaller films such as Moonrise Kingdom and Beasts of the Southern Wild have also shown that 2012 wasn’t just for the CGI laden money makers. Up and comers such as The Hobbit ensure we will be paying over priced cinema tickets all the way up to Judgment Day. With these themes in mind let’s take a look at what possible disasters could spell doom for the human race, taking inspiration from all of our favourite “end of the world” movies.

Asteroid- As seen in Armageddon and Deep Impact

As far as doomsday scenarios go, this is pretty plausible, I mean it already happened a few years back, taking out the dinosaurs, thus paving the way for us mammals to inherit the mess the asteroid had left behind. Yep, one big piece of space rock flying in our direction and we are dust. So as we saw with Deep Impact we have pre Lord of the Rings Elijah Wood running around dodging tidal waves and Morgan Freeman as the American president, and they said a black president was the most unrealistic aspect of the film, the doubters are currently shitting in their pants whilst preying they get a quick death when that Bitch of a space rock hits just off the coast Massachusetts. This problem also arises in Michael Bays Armageddon, but I think the less we talk about Ben Affleck   and Bruce Willis saving the world, the better.

Super virus – As seen in Contagion and Outbreak

Again another scenario that pretty much happened back in the medieval world, the black death ravaged its way through Europe and Asia, leaving only 2/3rds of Europe’s population alive.2011 film Contagion taught us two things, how weak civilisation really is against those minuscule bacteria working to wipe us out, not only working, but evolving. It also taught us to wash our hands, constantly. I was going through a pretty bad cough at the time I watched Contagion, the paranoia that built up in my mind, a self imposed exile from the rest of the world for a day or two was the only option. While we look outwards at extra terrestrial threats such as asteroids and Martians, we need look no further than the germs on our hands to see the downfall of man.

Aliens – As seen in Independence Day and War of the Worlds

I’m not talking about E.T or those little bald blokes from Close Encounters of the Third Kind, I’m referring to the Martians that leave nothing but your clothes and dust from War of the Worlds, or even the American land mark destroying guys from Independence Day. More than one third of Americans believe in Aliens, and according to a recent poll, most Americans believe that Obama would deal with a UFO attack pretty well. Living in this generations uncertain climate it’s good to see mankind not only has to worry about financial, economic or social problems, apparently 33% of the worlds super power believes Mars is secretly biding its time before it strikes, waiting for Obama’s term to be over.

Nuclear Holocaust – As seen in Mad Max and The War Game

The end of the Cold war allowed the world to breath a sigh of relief as the Soviets and the West finally stopped arguing over who had the bigger dick. If the cold war would have went hot, it would have meant total annihilation for most of us, leaving the survivors to either eat each other or don huge armoured trucks and rove the country side looking for precious fuel, do I want to eat my neighbour, not particularly, do I want to carry a big shotgun and live like Mad Max, Absa-fucking-loutly. If a the hard rain should fall on us then we can hope for one of two things, a quick and painless demise, or a chubby family next door.

Robots – As seen in The Terminator and The Matrix

I don’t care who you are, every time someone mentions artificial intelligence, a part of you will always think back to all those killer robot movies you saw in your youth. Machines are getting smarter, that’s a fact, but on the plus side they do seem to be getting thinner and smaller, every iPad that comes out seems to have lost a few inches in length or breadth, While the hulking metal skeletons seen terrorizing mankind from the Terminator movies seems a while off yet, they remain a threat to our children, or our children’s children, I couldn’t care less about any generation beyond that, they’re on their own. But for now humans should rejoice in our dominance over machines, no chance of my Blackberry rising up in a glorious revolution against me and my species, it can hardly check for cinema times.

Zombies – As seen in Night of the living Dead, 28 Days Later and Downtown Miami

A couple of months ago most people would have paired this possible threat alongside Robots and Aliens, but after the zombie craze that swept through America last month, the chance of our brains being chewed out has stepped up alongside nuclear holocaust. Anyone that has ever been a fan of Romero’s “Dead” films or read one of Max Brooks novels will agree that a world where zombies rose from the ground would be both terrifying and significantly more fun, I mean you can roam a post apocalyptic world killing dead guys or worst case scenario you are the dead guy, in which case you get to shuffle around moaning and eating “fast” food (see the irony yet?) With more and more ghastly acts of cannibalism sweeping the globe, I feel confident in saying, watch this space.

Lee Smith

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